Alright, 12s, you’ve done it! The Seahawks are Super Bowl LX Champions! The confetti has barely settled at Levi’s Stadium, the “Dark Side” defense just finished putting the clamps on the Patriots, and the entire Pacific Northwest is buzzing with a level of excitement usually reserved for… well, for THIS!
Tomorrow, Coach Mike Macdonald and our glorious Hawks are having the parade they deserve, an ear-splitting celebration right through the heart of Downtown Seattle. You want to be there. Heck, I want to be there. You want to high-five Witherspoon and shout “JSN!” until you lose your voice. I bet you’re just waiting to catch a glimpse of Sam hoisting that Lombardi Trophy like the king he truly is.
But listen up, because I need to have a serious chat with you…
DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT DRIVE INTO SEATTLE TOMORROW.
I know the voice in your head is repeating, “BUT I HAVE TO BE THERE! How will Walker hand me a game ball?!” (Spoiler alert: he won’t, he’s on a float). Or you are just thinking of our little 12’s – how can any child possibly go to school (not that we would ever recommend skipping school) and miss this epic Seattle celebration? I know your brain has come up with a plan to just drive into Downtown and effortlessly parking a block from 4th Avenue. But let me tell you… that’s not happening.
Here is a realistic picture.
Scenario 1: The Optimist
You leave your house at 6 AM. “Beat the traffic!” you laugh. By 7 AM, you’re stuck on I-5, barely moving and, heads, up, you have only reached the Tacoma Dome. By 9 AM, you’ve aged 10 years and consumed enough Starbies to float a Super-class ferry. You finally find a parking spot… in Tacoma. You then realize you’re going to miss the Shaheed appearance because you’re currently three zip codes away.
Scenario 2: The Strategist
You meticulously plan your route, studying traffic maps and WSDOT alerts. You arrive in Seattle feeling like a genius, only to discover that every street has been mysteriously transformed into a pedestrian zone full of navy and Action Green jerseys. Your car is trapped in a never-ending loop of “one-way street” hell while Mafe and Williams are already halfway through the parade route. You emerge from your car at sunset, blinking, having seen nothing but detour signs.
The Game Plan for Tomorrow
Seriously, folks. Our planners are dealing with the logistical equivalent of trying to block the Hawks Defensive Line. Public transportation is your MVP tomorrow.
• The Sounder & Light Rail are your champions.
• The Bus is your reliable offensive line.
• Your Feet? Trust them more than Sam Darnold trusts JSN (which is saying a lot after this season).
The less time you spend running down your electric car battery, the more time you can spend celebrating the “Dark Side” defense and screaming “Sea-Hawks!” at the top of your lungs.
Please, for the love of Blitz, leave your car at home. Let’s make this parade as smooth as Macdonald’s defensive scheme.
If you have made it this far in our plea statement and STILL plan on driving into town for the parade (did you not read the 2500 words before this?), please do everyone a solid. LEAVE YOUR GUNS AT HOME! Don’t leave them in your car. There have been cases of firearms taken during car prowls. Don’t let someone else enjoy what should be a great time.
Finally, if you need anything, help, directions, or food recommendations, we will have all the officers out and about. We will be wearing our bright yellow vests so we can be seen in the crowds.
We can’t wait to see you all tomorrow!
Go Hawks!
Sincerely,
Sgt Patrick Michaud
Hype Department Coordinator